You're Not Lazy...You're Exhausted
I’m so lazy, I didn’t accomplish anything today.
I didn’t even workout today, I’m such a lazy P.O.S.
I’m too lazy to even cook dinner.
I know it’s bad but I just want to be lazy today.
Four years ago this week was the last normal week we collectively experienced and it still surprises me when I hear people chastise themselves for being unproductive, tired or simply needing a break. If you pause and look at the evidence surrounding you there likely isn’t very much supporting this internal narrative that you’re lazy. But you probably already knew that right?
And before I go on here is something I’d like you to consider; laziness isn’t actually a thing. There is no legitimate construct known as laziness. “Laziness” as we think of it is really just a set of behaviors: procrastination, avoidance, lack of motivation, irresponsiblity, etc. But those behaviors can be because of a lot of things and laziness isn’t one of them.
When I see someone who is consistently producing, accomplishing or contributing something to society and their family refer to themselves “lazy” and/or minimizing the life roles they fill, it’s actually someone who is just exhausted from:
masking in their daily life
caring for children
parenting their parents
working through healing wounds or doing trauma-healing work
psyching themselves up to make a big life change
recovering from making a big life change (or several smaller ones)
hustle culture and career burnout
reparenting their inner child
simply surviving the darkness of *the times*
faking it really well
For most people prolonged exposure to stress leaves you burned out and exhausted. So if you feel like you can’t get anything done beyond the very basic tasks required of you, this is actually to be expected.
You aren’t lazy. You’re tired. You’re burned out. You’re possibly languishing.
There are several things you can do to feel better but the one thing that will definitely not make you feel better is calling yourself lazy. All that does is create negative emotions which you’ll soothe with the exact behaviors that look just like what you refer to as laziness (i.e. procrastination, avoidance, lack of motivation, irresponsiblity, etc).
Instead, call it what it is:
I’m burned out.
I’m exhausted.
I need a break.
I need to set boundaries.
But don’t call it laziness.
Be well!
Melissa
In case you missed it:
My calendar is finally open again for Coaching Intensives for the late spring and early summer. Coaching Intensive are one off sessions that are ideal for someone who is looking for one time or short term collaborative support on a specific area where you’re stuck. Sometimes no matter how many books you read, classes you take or videos you watch you just need to talk to someone one on one! You get a personalized plan after your session that you can implement with actionable steps to move you through where you’ve been stuck right away.
Sixty and Ninety minute options are available and half day session packages can be put together upon request (please email me directly though).
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