To The Black Sheep, Outsiders, and Oddballs of the Family
I’ve never really fit in with my family
I’m always on the outside of the inside jokes
No one really gets me
I swear they adopted me and didn’t tell me
If you want to get my attention right away tell me you’re referred to as the black sheep in your family- I am all ears. To me that means that even though your family sees you as the difficult one, I know you’re probably the most mature, honest, sensitive and aware one of them all. Instead of being difficult, you’re usually the one that didn’t have some of your most important needs met.
Black sheep are spicy. They are brave. And usually lonely. And if you’re one of them, you are meant to absolutely thrive in this world. Being the one who dares to be different, who challenges the status quo, and who refuses to conform to societal or familial expectations can be a difficult path. But it is also a powerful one that you likely feel you have no choice but to take.
Everyone in a family plays a role and this is one that was assigned to you. “Black sheep” are usually called too sensitive, dramatic or too emotional. They get made fun, mocked for their accomplishments, and usually feel alone growing up. They recognize pretty early on in life that there is dysfunction within their family and anytime they bring it up they’re ostracized. Black sheep are almost always treated differently than their siblings and feel just on the outside of the fold.
Here’s why:
You live an life of intergrity that’s aligned with your values.
You don’t betray yourself anymore.
You know that not everyone will like you or agree with you and even though you want people to like and approve of you, you don’t need it anymore.
You know how to get your needs met in ways that are safe, healthy and aren’t destructive to anyone else.
You can take a step back from your family, or any other group and connect dots, point out problematic patterns and hold people accountable.
If you’re the black sheep in your family, the one who is breaking cycles and refuses to pass along those wounds to your children, this is your sign to keep going. Take this as validation that even though it’s hard and often lonely, the work you’re doing matters.
You may not always be understood or appreciated by those you share DNA with, but that doesn't mean you aren’t special and important. In fact, it’s often those who are the most unique who have the greatest impact on the people who are actually paying attention.
You matter.
Keep going!
XO
Melissa
Resources:
The Modern Mom’s Guide to Reparenting: $27
In 10 steps this 38 page guide will show you how to:
Handle being triggered by your kids with a clear, step by step plan
Create a realistic self care practice for yourself without feeling guilty
Reparent yourself with techniques that actually work
Explore your old childhood wounds so they stop impacting your parenting
Set and communicate realistic boundaries with yourself, your kids and your family so you feel less overwhelmed and angry
Be more emotionally intelligent and regulated and teach your kids to do the same
Stop generational patterns that don’t work for you so you don’t repeat them with your own family
7 Game-Changing Hacks for Calm and Confident Parenting: Free
