Three Words That Will Take the Pressure Off of The Decisions You Make
“What if five years from now, I’ll look back on this time and wish I would have made a different decision?”
“What if next month I’ll be swamped and wish I would have enjoyed the down time I have this week a little bit more?”
“What if…?”
This is what it sounds like when you want your decisions to not only be excellent ones, but you also consider the permanence of them. From the big decisions like buying a home or a career jump to the smaller ones like what color you’re painting your bathroom, any decision becomes massive when you decide that the outcome can’t be changed or you can’t pull back and see how the decision fits in the bigger picture of your life.
When I think about the next right move for my business or what needs I should be anticipating for my children, it feels like not only do I need to know the right answer, I need to make sure the answer I come up with will still be the right answer 5, 10, or 15 years from now.
We question the decisions we make every single day not just because we don’t know if they’re the right decision, but because we want to see what’s coming in the future and we want assurance that the decision we’re making today is going to align with whatever it is the universe is going to throw at us. We want to predict and control the future even though rationally we know can’t; but subconsciously we still believe we can when we’re wading through the decision making process.
To take the pressure off, I have three magical words for you to add on to the end of every sentence when you’re making a decision or trying to make peace with a current life circumstance. These are going to take off the pressure you put on yourself to land on a decision that will stand the test of time or simply be the most excellent option. When you tack this phrase on to the end of your sentence, notice how it shifts your perspective and allows for fluidity and flexibility. Here it is:
“…for right now”
“I’m delegating my management responsibilities at work so I can be home when the kids get off the bus…for right now.”
“I’m cutting back on social commitments to make it easier on myself to drink less during the week…for right now.”
“I’m working more than I usually do but I’m committed to hitting my goal this quarter and I’m okay with the tax on my capacity…for right now.”
“I’m not as fulfilled as I thought I would be as a stay at home mom and I think I’ll change this arrangement sooner than I planned, and I’m okay with acknowledging this is what works best for all of us…for right now.”
“I’m not as productive as I wanted to be but I’ve prioritized my mental health and relationships and I’m at peace with this pivot…for right now.”
As someone with three young kids who feels like I’m always holding myself back from all of the “more” I want to be doing, this practice has changed my attitude and decreased my resentment about how the phase of life my family is currently in directly impacts me. For better or worse the stages my kids are in wildly affects me: my routine, my sleep, my personal goals, my career…EVERYTHING. I wrestle with wanting to be around and a part of every part of their day and also wanting to tend to myself and my dreams. With three kids oftentimes my non-urgent wants have to temporarily take a backseat and telling myself “for right now” gives me a much needed perspective shift and I can own it without taking it out on the people I love.
Adding “for right now” accounts for all of the variables that you’re stressing about and trying to plan for but know you can’t.
“What if can’t commit to this? What if this doesn’t work? What if I change my mind?”
All of these are valid and could definitely happen because you’re not a robot! Or external circumstances could change that are completely out of your control. But when you allow for the temporary nature of everything, it all feels so much more compassionate and manageable.
What’s something you’re struggling with that you can add “for right now” to?
Goodbye, August
Be well,
Melissa
