10 Questions To Challenge Your Anxious Thoughts
Anxious thoughts are thoughts that aren’t rational or reasonable and that we can’t necessarily prove to be true…or not true. They usually revolve around a situation or person and they run on a loop or recur despite causing us distress. Sometimes they become intrusive but usually we can mitigate them when we’re equipped with the right tools. My favorite way to do this is to balance out the anxious thoughts with questions that challenge their certainty.
I personally believe that if you are a person who was on the planet on September 11, 2001 you run, at minimum, slightly anxious. There’s just no way around experiencing anxious thoughts from time to time and I would argue the majority of people have them whether they recognize them as that or not.
We Need Tools
If you regularly feel lonely or don’t have people around you to help you talk through these thoughts or offer other perspectives, it is easy to let these thoughts run wild. Although it’s ideal to have another person help you challenge anxious thoughts, in lieu of someone else you can use a set of intentionally designed questions to help you look at a situation from other sides.
When I’m feeling anxious I like to remember that I can always close the loop on these thoughts by flushing them out and asking myself more questions. I know when I’m ruminating on a situation or a possible outcome that it’s my brain’s way of trying to keep me safe. Unfortunately, there actually are all kinds of threats around us but oftentimes a lot of anxious thoughts really are just false alarms- worries that never come true.
The world we live in today is very complex, and it has evolved a lot, but this predisposition to worrying and to having these kinds of thoughts hasn’t evolved much at all.
Accepting Anxious Thoughts
If you have an anxiety disorder or you’re on medication for anxiety this is an effective practice and can enhance the work you’re already doing. Anxious thoughts are likely always going to be along for the ride, but they’re not always going to be in the driver’s seat. When dealing with anxiety there are all kinds of tools to add to your toolbox (i.e. therapy, exercise, medication, nutrition, meditation, social supports, etc) and challenging your thoughts is another one!
I recommend you save these on your phone and screenshot them so you can keep them around when you feel those thoughts creep in and start ruminating.
10 Questions To Challenge Your Anxious Thoughts
Is this thought helping me at all?
Am I sure that ___________ will happen?
What evidence do I have for this thought?
What evidence do I have against this thought?
In five years from now, how will this still be impacting me? Or, is it so important that my future depends on it?
Could I be confusing “possibility” with “certainty”? As in, it may be possible, but is it likely?
How many times has this actually happened before?
What’s the worst that could happen, the best that could happen, and the most realistic that could happen?
If this worst does happen, what will I do to handle it?
What would I say to someone like me in a similar situation?
You can walk through these and talk them out to yourself verbally or write them down by hand. Either way, spend time on them when you feel stuck or get proactive when you feel the rumination coming on.
Save the Date!
Friday November 10th, 2pm EST
This is a HIGHLY REQUESTED topic and I’m so excited to share this live class with you! I’ll be sharing more details soon over email and on Instagram. I’m going to give you the quick and dirty on how to set practical boundaries with people you care about, how to say what you mean without being mean, and how to say no without feeling guilty. Just in time for the holidays!
Get on the waiting list and you’ll get a discount code when enrollment opens.
Hope this helps..xo
Melissa